I was way cheaper than the local garages but still made enough to by my first car, a Vauxhall Cresta PA, as soon as I turned eighteen, the nearest thi...g I could afford to an American car. It was my pride and joy and I'd customised it to the hilt. White side wall tyres, black vinyl roof and a top of the range sound system. I felt like the cat's whiskers when I drove round the estate in it. Even though most of my time was taken up working on my own car, I still did work for my neighbours, looking. You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just. She constantly asks me if I am still okay with her only having sex with her black lover and I always give the same answer; I am completely happy with how things are.I get such a buzz from the denial thing and hearing them make love together.One night, we were snuggled in bed together and she asked me how I was doing with her relationship with Chris.“I am fine baby,” I told her, “why do you ask? Have I given you any signs to be concerned?”“No, baby, I just want to make sure that you are still. When I come out we can ... talk, or just sit here, or do whatever you want."She didn't answer. I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I wanted to give her space. I did my own peeing (not on anyone's face, though). I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked surprisingly O.K. for what had just happened. When I came out of the bathroom, still wearing only my stockings and garter belt, Gisele was completely dressed and she was putting on her shoes."Oh, Gisele ... are you.
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